A Case Study of What NOT to do OR the BNI Invite that Couldn't

[Alecia Huck MAVERICK & CO]

A Sad Little Story About the Invitation That Couldn't


A few weeks ago I received an email invitation to a launch party for a BNI group. BNI, Business Networking International, is a great organization with lots of chapters all over the world, and oodles of dedicated members who pass millions of referrals. In general they do a great job of providing businesses and sales people with good training and a good set-up to build relationships with new referral sources. In general, I am a fan.

Specifically, the series of interactions I had with the person inviting me were a case study in how NOT to invite people to events you'd actually like them to attend. Which brings us back to that first email.

1. It was a generic email...which is NOT a problem. It contained NO personal reference at ALL which IS a problem. Primarily this is a problem because I had no idea who the person sending the email was. I meet lots of people and maybe everyone else on her list knew her name immediately but I did not.

2. I received a second email about a week later. Good on the follow up, again bad because I didn't want the email to begin with, had no idea who was sending it or how I might have met them and therefor the series of communications is now, technically, SPAM.

3. I write a very polite, very nice response letting the sending know I had been a member of a BNI chapter a few years ago and was not currently interested. I also said I couldn't remember how we had met and asked her to please remove me from her mailing list. I added that I wished her great success with her new group.

SHE NEVER RESPONDED. This was her big chance to actually communicate with me, build a relationship with me. She could have apologized, asked questions, asked if there was anyone else I'd like to send, never explained how we knew each other...nothing.

4. Today, the coup de grace. I receive a phone call from a person who sounds like they're two minutes away from falling asleep or comitting suicide who tells me she's with a company that sent me an invitation to a BNI meeting. She could not be LESS enthusiastic about talking to me or her group. Worse than going thru the motions, she actually sounds like she's so bored she's in pain. I politely inform her that I had received a couple of emails, one of which I'd responded to saying I was formerly a member and not interested in joining at this time. She then says, "O.k. thanks," AND HANGS UP.

I know we're all guilty of skipping a couple of steps in the interest of saving time but a couple of hints:

1. As email has become more and more widely USED, it has become more and more widely ABUSED which leads to less use. A mass email used to have some pull, not anymore. Any communication will go a LOT further if you can be specific, talk directly to me and at least fill in any missing information about how we know each other. Adding a detail or two to a generic email means that yes, you sent a generic email but you also gave enough of a damn to tweak it for ME. The least I can do is read it for you.

I once watched an insurance salesman send out 500 personally signed Christmas cards, not a single one of which contained a personal message. Better strategy, send out 50 with a personal note. They'll actually get read, you'll actually forward those relationships and you'll save at least one tree and and a bunch of stamps.

2. Respond to any response communication. It's an opening you worked hard to create, make sure you USE it.

3. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, at least be interested in your own invitation! If you don't care, why should I? You don't have to jump up and down like a cheerleader on speed, but you could at least be interested in talking to me, somewhat happy, excited about your own event, your life, your phone, the possibility of caffeine in your future. Sound alive...please.

Invitations are powerful tools for building relationships. Even if people don't accept them, it's a real reason to be in touch, to communicate their value to you, to be on the lookout for what might benefit them...all things that help solidify their connection to you.

As with all powerful things however, you must use your power for good and not evil. Used carelessly, a badly made invitation can do a lot of damage to your relationships and reputation.

Invite well and prosper.

[David Sandusky]

You know, my insurance agent moved on recently. I learned as I received a letter in the mail from my newly appointed agent. The letter was mass production, fine. But the signature was digital. He did not even take the time to sign the letters. I am shopping. Simple as that.

[Maria Elena Duron]

So well written, Alecia! I appreciate all your points here and agree with all of them.

I want to give the "V-8 slap to the head" to people who think that unpersonal contact is a behavior that is okay. I am in great hopes that they will read what you've written and take heed to your points to personalize any contact you make with people.

Personalizing shows you value your contacts. And, don't you want people you connect with to feel valued?

My local Merle Norman shop owner has yet to recognize that I'm alive. I spend about $80/month. Not extravagant but consistent purchases. And, while I'm a Merle Norman customer, I will not buy from her. I will buy my cosmetics at the Las Vegas Merle Norman store before I ever put dollars in the pocket of someone who doesn't even acknowledge customers. Gratefully, I found a wonderful Mary Kay consultant who is now my client to be a client of. Why? Because she took the time to form a relationship with me and value it BEFORE any business exchange happened between us, she recognized me as a person.

In fact, she does that with everyone she connects with...which is why she is successful!

I plan to link to this post many times over. Thank you!

[Unregistered]

Right on! I thought I was the only one disappointed with disenchanted workers. Others have raised voice on this forum about separating yourself with customer service. The invitations are the beginning of such service relationship.

[Ivan Misner]

Alecia, great sales trainers say that "a complaint is a gift because it highlights a problem." I recognize that and thank you for this gift.

I am truly sorry that you experienced this situation in your Chapter invitation.

With any company, there is a "plan" and then there is the "execution" of that plan. Our invitation process is well structured to be "personal." However, it is clear that this plan was not executed well and I apologize for that on behalf of my organization.

I have passed this on to the local Director and have asked that she do some coaching with the group to improve the execution of our process there.

I hope that if you ever find yourself in a position to visit a BNI Chapter again that you find a group that is personable, friendly, and professional. If that day comes, I'd be glad to have the Director work with you personally in finding a good fit.

I wish you continued success.

All the best.

Dr. Ivan Misner
Founder
BNI
misner@bni.com

[David Sandusky]

Dr. Misner just showed an excellent example of keeping taps of his brand online, an appropriate response and action within the organization.

This thread started by Alecia Huck is full of insight and lesson by very talented people.

[Alecia Huck MAVERICK & CO]

Dr. Misner!

As I mentioned in the article, I am a fan and former client of BNI. (Personally my favorite distinction from BNI is that asking for a referral is on par with asking to borrow someone's car keys--brilliant.) I loved reading your response and agree, the plan and the execution are two different things.

BNI does a great deal RIGHT and the organization has helped create the world of networking that we tend to take for granted these days.

Your responsiveness is a great example of what to do and how to do it well.

Best,
Alecia

[Alecia Huck MAVERICK & CO]

REALLY, ANOTHER REPEAT OF THE SAME BAD INVITE?
I was surprised and amused when I opened my inbox this morning and found YET ANOTHER email from my BNI "friend." This one was a short and sweet reminder about coming to their meeting tomorrow.

Unfortunately, I still have no idea who the person sending it to me is. I still can't find this individual in my database. Also unfortunate is that this individual not only didn't respond to my reply but they also didn't take me off their mailing list which means we're now in SPAMville.

(I did finally notice this individual is using some type of email blast service with an auto-unsubscribe function but Yikes! You've still got to watch the replies you get. What if I was asking for more info or better directions?)

DR. MISNER SAVES THE DAY
So this invitation is a giant FAIL, except for the timely, appropriate and personal reply posted by Dr. Misner, the founder of BNI right here. We all like to feel important and by replying personally Dr. Misner went above and beyond. He SURPRISED ME in a very good way. Because his response was even more than a normal person would expect, he's turned the situation into a great example of what TO DO in a situation like this.

I'm left happy and satisfied. In fact, his response was so good he's actually turned me into a committed ally--I'm forwarding him the name of the Chapter (but not the individual doing the inviting) to help him address the issue--AND I HAVE EVERY CONFIDENCE HE WILL.

WHAT HE DID RIGHT:
1. He responded QUICKLY. Even though my post may have been minor, he caught it early and therefore his voice and perspective was immediately part of the conversation.
2. His response was sincere and consistent with his image and his organization's brand. It was exactly what you'd expect (if you weren't disillusioned and cynical.)
3. He took responsibility and communicated what actions he was taking. Apologies mean nothing without action.
4. He apologized.

None of these is an earth-shatteringly brilliant or innovative way to respond. It is basically what a decent, responsible person would do. It's the fact that he DID those things that makes the difference.

AT THE OTHER END OF THE DAMAGE CONTROL SPECTRUM
Compare and contrast this to the miserable, delayed, awkward response of Dominos President Patrick Doyle to their latest crisis.

This video just goes to show that some apologies are barely better than none at all. What would have been better? Go off the teleprompter for just a minute, look into the camera and say,

"I was horrified when I watched this. We have thousands of amazing, dedicated people who work in our stores and run our franchises. The actions of these two idiots have damaged the reputation of a fine company and a lot of really good people. We're going to make damn sure it doesn't happen again..."

Dominos is going to have some serious work to do to get us back on board. Pizza Hut Pasta is looking better and better.


In summary, boo to the one poor, well-intentioned but misguided individual who botched my particular invitation. But well done to Dr. Misner and his team for catching it and turning it into a positive experience for their organization and brand.

If you'd like more information about BNI or to visit or join a chapter near you: http://www.bni.com/

Just remember to make your personal invitations, well, personal.

[Maria Elena Duron]

Unfortunately, execution in any organization is where you often see the FAIL. Many companies craft stellar ideas and tasks in the corporate boardrooms or around the conference table (even over drinks) and yet if there is no follow through or proper execution - it merely becomes a good idea that flitted away into the stratosphere.

Just like referrals - when the OWNER is driven to be the one to say the message - then the WORD OF MOUTH legs that could speak positively on the group or organization's behalf are rendered useless. And, if the owner is the one driven to do that then a serious assessment of current practices is required. While in theory, things may look like they're in place when there's an OBVIOUS FAIL there is another one looming without some remarkable actions along with indepth review put into place. Coaching action is important and yet maybe some tweaking of the system is in order. You might think this to be "serious" or overboard - but, I don't. I've seen too many great organizations have amazing licensees or franchisees in the larger cities (because they're easy to get to and easy to review) and too many rural counterparts or branches "doing their own thing" and escaping any review because no one truly travels to those rural locations...UNTIL a catastrophe hits. I lobby for a good review before that extreme.

While the Domino's Pizza video is NOT my favorite, I also believe in speaking directly to the camera and from the heart. Authentic communication is one place where the "umms" and the "silent moments" are tolerated. And, he did deliver a great message. Maybe some Toastmaster training would help him to remove his eyes from the teleprompter. Even some media training wouldn't hurt but the fact that he responded to it quickly, is what is impressive. The fact that they were really looking at their "systems" impressed me. The fact that you could hear the conviction in his voice and support for those who all own their own franchise business with the Domino's name was very important. His response showed that he valued the owners and just didn't treat them as one of his "staff". He understand as a franchised organization the importance that the owner of each franchise was his direct concern.

My hope is that he has given the tools, training and the opportunity to execute (with review and feedback) to his franchisees so that they can respond locally. It's the local voice that will mean more to any of the people directly involved.

Again, I go back to something I learned early on in a BNI chapter and that is...when YOU (the owner, sales executive, manager) are the only one who can correctly, succinctly and powerfully carry the message - you have "cut the referrral legs out from underneath you".

[BizNet]

This is fascinating to read an example of a social media complaint in a form of education that includes a response from the organization. Entertaining and valuable for sure!

So Dr. Misner did respond very well and I am sure took action. My guess is that he is far removed and may not know himself if the action from the top made a change or not.

Any update? I think this could be a fascinating tale on leadership.