The Proposal

[Jenifer Madson]

The Proposal

This being February, with Valentine's Day and all, I've been having a lot of great conversations with couples about how to stop fighting over money and get back to a loving relationship, so I thought we'd spend the next few weeks sharing the distinctions that are helping them make love--and money--last. (By the way, these principles apply to any partnership, business or personal, where there is money at stake, so don't hesitate to read this through that 'lens.')

I maintain that you can get a financially troubled relationship back on track in an instant by focusing on making things right instead of pointing the finger at who is wrong. And that's how you start: you 'financially propose' this commitment to each other by asking 'Will you work with me to make our financial situation right without making each other wrong?'

As in any proposal, if you get a 'yes,' then you're off and running with the next steps of planning, which in this case would be identifying the first, most pressing thing financially that needs to be corrected or improved, and then taking the necessary steps to do so.

Take A Minute:
Are you committed to making things right financially without making each other wrong?

Make A Minute:
Identify the most pressing financial issue that needs your collective attention, and choose the first action step to improve it.

You can't solve everything all at once, so starting with one thing that you both agree on and taking action from there will give you the experience to handle the next thing, and the next, in rebuilding your relationship with each other and with money.

What if your proposal gets a 'no?' Stay tuned for next week's column, where we'll explore how to protect yourself if your partner won't cooperate.